The picture below is me on my first ever “business trip” to NYC when I first started my marketing career in my early 20’s. I barely had enough money to scrape together to cover the hotel room until my company would reimburse me. With International Women’s Day this weekend, I’ve been reflecting back on what I would want to tell my younger self as she begins her rise through male-dominated industries and companies.
You will be told “your attitude is unbecoming” by your department leader. It’s not — he is incompetent and does not like to be challenged.
You will be described to a potential employer as “talented and great at what she does BUT…” there would be no but, in that sentence, if you were a man.
You will have amazing opportunities — flying to another country on your first day of a new job, $6K yearly personal travel budget, working in a converted 1800’s mansion — to name a few. However, with those high highs come some very low lows.
You will be the first woman hired at a company and be treated as an outsider by your officemates for months.
You will present your work to a room of 15 people where you are the youngest person and the only woman. You will not get a single piece of positive feedback when your presentation is done.
Your boss will routinely not stick up for you when it comes to issues with your older male coworker. Said coworker will go on to tell you it’s “funny” that women-owned businesses are even advertised.
You will hear countless male coworkers objectify women in your presence as if you are not even in the room.
You will keep your head up and keep crushing your goals.
I thought all weekend about whether it was worth the potential backlash to write this piece for everyone to see. I decided it was because this is still happening. I have experienced some of this within the last year alone. We are all responsible for making the workplace a place where everyone is respected and welcome.
So, to my younger self and all the other women beginning their come up — it’s hard and lonely to feel singled out because of your gender. It will happen and it’s up to you to stand up for yourself — if a company does not suit you, leave. If your leaders are going to treat you differently because you are a woman, leave. No paycheck is worth that and I promise you will land on your feet. Keeping searching and taking up space — never settle for a job that will not allow you to be your most authentic self. You will find your place.
It’s up to you to speak your truth even if it’s uncomfortable. These behaviors have been so ingrained in our society that they create unconscious (and sometimes conscious) bias which will not change unless you lead by example. We owe it to the girls becoming women to stand up and change office culture for the better.
